Steve vs Johnny
by bored-now0809
Summary: Steve Rogers is tired of being mistaken for Johnny Storm


**Steve vs Johnny**

It started on the subway. Steve was riding into Avenger tower from his place in Brooklyn, when a stunning redhead sidled up to him as the train was swaying back and forth and kissed him. Like…really kissed him. Steve pulled back and looked at her agape.

"Er…" He started but couldn't really do anything but blink at her confused.

"Hiya, Storm…I had a great time last night," She said in a sultry tone as she looked up at him through her lashes.

"Er…" Steve repeated. His brain was having a hard time catching up; PDA was both uncomfortable and awkward when you had _no idea_ who the woman with her tongue down your throat was. However, the longer he continued to look at her in confusion, the more her sultry expression faded into a look of irritation. And then anger.

"Don't you even remember me, you jerk?!"

"Er…"

"I hate you Johnny Storm!" She yelled and kneed Steve in the groin with a surprising amount of force.

"But, I'm not Johnny Storm!" Steve gasped out after her as she stormed off the train at the next exit, the doors closing behind her. Steve stared out the window as the train rushed on, wondering what had happened. At the next stop, he limped out; unable to take the disappointed looks from the little old lady he had given his seat to earlier on his trip.

Once up on the street, he blinked his eyes at the sunlight. Who was Johnny Storm and what did he do to cause him- Steve Rogers- to get kneed by a complete stranger?

**Round 1**

**Steve: 0, Johnny: +1**

OOOOoooooOOOOOoooo

A couple of days later, Steve was enjoying the nice weather in Prospect Park with his sketchbook. He had done some research on the Internet (thanks to Darcy in Dr. Foster's lab) and now he knew who Johnny Storm was. He sort of felt a bit sorry for the redhead. But that was only a fleeting feeling…she had kneed him in the groin for no reason after all. Something which Darcy had found hilarious, although she had promised not to tell anyone else.

He was glad that they had become friends when she and Dr. Foster moved into the tower. It was a different friendship than the one that he had with Natasha- Darcy wasn't as complicated as the assassin and he didn't have to worry that she had some sort of ulterior motive to hang out with him. Even if she had said it was crazy that the girl had confused him with Storm- she snorted something about grandpa clothes.

Just as he was putting the finishing touches on his sketch of a pair of old timers playing chess, a gorgeous, long legged blonde came over. She pushed his sketchbook off of his lap and sat down in its place. She then wrapped her arms around him and Steve felt himself start to panic.

"I'm not-"but he was cut off by her lips suctioning onto his. It felt like she was trying to suck his soul out of his mouth. He tried to gently push her away, but she had latched on firmly and he was afraid of hurting her if he pushed too hard. Finally, she came up for air.

"Where ya been, Johnny baby?" She asked running her index finger over the top of her low cut blouse. Steve's eyes followed the movement for a moment (after all, he wasn't frozen anymore), but then looked away embarrassed when he saw her smirking at him. As she leaned in to try to kiss him again (he was slightly worried that she _was_ actually trying to suck his soul out), he stood up quickly and set her on her feet.

"I'm not Johnny Storm." He said seriously. Her sultry look faded into a glare and she slapped him across the face.

"My sister warned me about you!" She yelled and stomped off. Steve put his hand up to his cheek and watched her walk away in disbelief. He couldn't believe he had just been mistaken for Johnny Storm…again! As he was retelling Darcy what happened the next day in the break room over a cup of coffee he couldn't help but smile a bit as she laughed at his predicament.

"Well, I'm glad that at least one of us is getting a kick out of this." Steve said dryly and Darcy made a valiant effort to get her giggles under control. Steve merely gave her his patient look which caused her to lose it all over again. He laughed with her.

"What you need to do," Darcy gasped out after her laughter subsided, "Is to find a girl who knows you, that you like and just go out on a date with her. Maybe then these bimbettes will notice the difference." She looked at him with a smile and Steve smiled back.

"Well, there is this nurse down in medical. She was really great when I was down there after the last fight." At least, she was great to Captain America. He ducked his head a bit not noticing as Darcy's smile dimmed a little. She cleared her throat.

"Er…yeah. You should ask her out." She took a big gulp of her coffee, finishing it off. "You deserve to be happy, Steve." She said and got up, putting her cup in the sink. "I gotta get back to the lab."

And with that she patted him on the shoulder and disappeared down the hall towards the labs. He looked after her confused. They had only been there for a couple of minutes. Usually, he and Darcy would spend a lot longer sipping coffee together and talking about the crazy things happening in their lives. He had even started showing her some of his sketches. Suddenly, Natasha sat down in Darcy's vacated chair startling him out of his thoughts. She was looking at him like he was an idiot.

"What?" Steve said somewhat defensively. She rolled her eyes.

"You are completely clueless about women." She said looking him directly in the eye. She didn't break eye contact and Steve tried not to look away. While Natasha was one of his closest friends and they were often paired together for missions, she could be rather intimidating and what she said struck a little close to home.

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked and Natasha sighed as though disappointed in him.

"Nothing." She replied before getting up and leaving Steve alone in the break room. He scratched his head confused and decided to make a plan of action to ask out Mary the nurse the next day.

**Round 2**

**Steve: 0, Johnny: +2**

OOOOoooooOOOOOooooo

Steve waited in the infirmary feeling stupid. He was supposed to be good at making plans, but all he could come up with was to go down to the infirmary, wait to see Mary and then ask her out for coffee. He felt a little awkward waiting around here, with all the beeping machines and people hustling about. But then Mary came out of the double doors and smiled…at him. Steve felt himself smiling back in return.

"Hey Mary-" he started but was cut off when she walked over and planted one on him. He kissed her back for a moment, but then his heart sank as he realized that he'd never spoken to her as Steve Rogers…just Captain America. His worst fears were realized when she pulled back to speak to him.

"Not up to your usual standards, Storm." She said with a teasing glint in her eyes and Steve could _actually_ feel his heart fall into his stomach as she winked at him. "Let's get somewhere a little more private before my boss realizes I'm supposed to be filling out paperwork." She grinned and leaned up to kiss him again but Steve leaned back before her lips could make contact. She frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not Johnny Storm." Steve said on a sigh. He disentangled himself from her and trudged out of the infirmary ward. He rubbed his hand over his face. At least this time he didn't get slapped. Or kneed in the groin.

**Round 3**

**Steve: 0, Johnny: +3**

OOOOooooOOOOoooo

After his failure in the infirmary, Steve went back to his place in Brooklyn. He didn't feel like talking about this with anyone, not even Darcy. It was just too embarrassing. To say that he was not pleased when Natasha suddenly appeared in his living room was an understatement. It was distressing on so many levels.

"I don't want to talk about it." He said without looking away from what he was drawing. Natasha put her hand on the paper and pushed it down. Steve looked up at her nervously remembering how the park incident began. Natasha rolled her eyes at him.

"Steve, I'm sorry that it didn't work out with Mary, because Darcy is right. You do deserve to be happy."

"You're friends with Darcy?" Steve asked incredulously. He had never seen the two of them exchange even a glance and he couldn't imagine someone as warm and friendly as Darcy be friends with someone as cold and guarded as Natasha. Natasha who was currently rolling her eyes at him.

"Of course." _You idiot _was left unsaid and Steve felt himself flush. "But Steve," Natasha began in a gentle tone totally uncharacteristic for her, "is there anyone that you know that you see on a regular basis that you laugh with and smile with?"

_Darcy_

The name immediately flashed into Steve's head but he pushed it aside quickly. When he first met Darcy, he had developed a bit of a crush on her. She was, after all, exactly his type: a feisty brunette who kept him on his toes and stood up for what she believed in. But now…now she was one of his best friends and he wouldn't, _couldn't, _ruin that. He grunted in response and Natasha sighed in response.

"Just because you're friends doesn't mean you can't be more too." Natasha said and left before Steve could deny or even reply to her statement. But he thought about it the rest of the day. And all of the next week too.

**Round 4**

**Steve: 0, Johnny: +3, Natasha: +500**

OOOOOoooooOOOOO

Steve was frustrated as countless women at the Stark party continued to come up to him and mistake him as Johnny Storm. He went to the bar and hunched over a glass of scotch wishing that he could get drunk. While all the attention would be merely embarrassing if it was for _him_, the fact that it was just because of some dumb mistake made it unbearable.

As he was hunched over his drink, he heard a familiar voice and he felt a sharp pang.

"Go away and leave me alone, Storm." Steve heard Darcy say. He was unmistakably hurt that _Darcy_ of all people was mistaking him for Storm. He thought that they were friends. He had told her things that no one else knew about him. And she thought…he turned around with a sigh.

And his eyes bugged out in his head because Darcy _was_ talking to Johnny Storm. Johnny Storm who looked like he was a little drunk and had his arm wrapped around Darcy's waist and was staring at her chest. Steve felt his sadness shift in an instant to white hot anger.

"C'mon, you got a gift like that, you gotta share it with the world." Storm slurred and Darcy scowled at him, pushing him away with one and hand and trying to pry his fingers off her dress with the other.

"Get away! People are watching!" Darcy hissed. Pepper had warned Darcy not to cause a scene at this party since there were some top media outlets present and she was already on thin ice after the last party where Darcy and Tony had gotten completely drunk and sang "We Are the Champions" after organizing and winning a beer pong tournament. Normally Darcy would taser Johnny Storm and be done with it. But she had promised Pepper and she didn't want to break a promise to Pepper…although if Storm grabbed her ass one more time all bets were off. Johnny snorted.

"C'mon, I've heard all the rumors. You can just pretend that I'm the star spangled man with a plan…we're practically twins. I can help you out with that dirty little fantasy." Storm smirked at her again and Steve froze for a moment. Darcy? _His_ Darcy thought about him like that? Suddenly her response to Storm's proposition was more important that anything he could even imagine.

"You don't look a thing like Steve." Darcy hissed enraged at the drunken and flailing super hero in front of her. And her irritation gave her enough strength to fling Storm off of her. Steve felt his heart soar at her answer while, at the same time, he felt like a complete idiot. _Of course_ it was Darcy.

"You're right, I'm so much hotter." Storm said with a grin. Steve didn't give Darcy a chance to answer.

"I think that the lady said no." He said in his most official Captain America voice. Storm snorted and then with a last lingering look at Darcy (or rather her chest), he rolled his eyes and walked away.

"Not worth it." He muttered under his breath. Steve felt an irrational amount of anger at the hot headed member of the Fantastic Four. Before he really knew what he was doing, he had knocked out Johnny Storm.

"Steve!" Darcy exclaimed in surprise before grabbing Steve's arm and dragging him away from the crowd and the inevitable flashbulbs. Pepper was going to kill her. She hustled Steve out of the party into the break room a couple of floors below.

"What was that all about?" Darcy asked standing with her hands on her hips and facing off against Steve.

"Guy's got a glass jaw." Steve muttered rubbing the back of his neck, feeling a little bit embarrassed and uncertain.

"Steve!" Darcy chastised him and Steve couldn't help but feel a grin form on his face seeing her there and remembering what she said earlier at the party and how she had always been there for him ever since they had met…and how her lips were red and pouty and begging to be kissed. For once, he decided that he should play to his strengths- less talk more action.

So he kissed her.

When he pulled away, she blinked up at him confused.

"Steve?" Darcy asked and he was surprised by the hesitant and hopeful look in her eyes.

"Darcy Lewis, do you wanna go out for a coffee with me tomorrow?" He asked. Darcy smiled.

"Steve Rogers, I would love to."

**Final Score**

**Steve: Darcy, Johnny: Broken Jaw, Natasha: Vodka Gift Basket**


End file.
